I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
