My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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