I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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