it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
