You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize