I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
