i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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