I got chris browned last night
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
