dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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