let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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