just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
