well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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