YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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