I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
