My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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