trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
