question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
