he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
