my mouth tastes like poor choices
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
