So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she peed on how many people?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
