Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
