The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
