Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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