Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
