I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize