i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
