best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
