how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
