We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize