out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
