You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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