hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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