To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
