we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
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the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin