I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie