We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina