This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
