I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
