You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
