Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
