Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
