doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
