does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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