never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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