I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
