I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize