Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
