I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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