they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
