bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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