I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
