3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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