at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Semen is not good for contacts.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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