He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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