tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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