One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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