I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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