dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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