I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize