Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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