we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
