I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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