um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
