How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
