Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
