I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
