I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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