Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
