Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
