I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
