My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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